Why Don't You Teach Me How to Love
by ilovegaybumblebees
Summary: Andy didn't get into Luke's task force, so she goes to see what Sam has to say at the Penny. Set after 3x13, A/U. Completed at three chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Andy walked towards the Black Penny. She was nervous and jumpy as she stared at the door, growing through the past two hours. Luke had just called her to tell her that was would _not_ be in the task force. Was she bummed? Of course she was. Everyone had wanted in on this - but she had chosen not to apply because she had been with Sam at the time the deadline had passed. But she's not with him now, so she's just going to have to go through that pointless bomb-holding therapy and work her ass off to qualify for the next one, that is if this thing with Sam doesn't go well. She pushed through the door and saw him sitting there, right at the front. He seemed nervous and even a little sad because it had come to this.

Andy was always the one who was trying, fighting for them. She held on for dear life after Jerry's death, but he had forced her to let go. And her tight grip had proved beneficial today with that bomb. And when he saw her holding that damned thing, his heart was in his throat. In those first few moments of seeing her, he had experienced a revelation. He'd promised her a fight, but he had forfeited. This time it would be different - he'd work twice as hard for her, he'd wait twice as long, if he needed to. She deserved his all because she had given him everything that she had. He turned when he heard the door open and felt the draft from its swing. She was here.

She really was nervous now. Her hands were in her back pockets, only leaving their refuge when she ran a hand through her hair. She saw that he was staring at her and she raised the corners of her lips at him in awkward acknowledgment. Andy joined him at the bar, he passed her the drink he was saving for her. She tossed it back and finished it in one gulp.

"Andy-"

"Me first," she interrupted, setting the glass back down on the bar. "I was going to leave. I thought I could maybe make it into Luke's task force and I was ready to go. But then I was holding a bomb. Have you ever held a bomb, Sam?"

She was scary calm. Her level-headedness had unnerved Sam. He twirled the amber liquid in his glass before answering, "Once, a few years back."

"Well then, you should know that when you're holding a bomb, it's the worst time for your emotionally unavailable ex-boyfriend to finally tell you that he loves you," said Andy. A biting tone had risen in her voice and Sam knew that he deserved it. "You dumped me in a parking lot. _This_ parking lot. Jesus, Sam."

"You're right," he said, when she had been quiet for a moment. "But have you ever seen the love of your life holding a grenade? And you're stuck there, staring at her, scared for her life because if she dies then she'll never know how you feel?"

Andy flinched and looked around the bar. It was full. She could see Chris and Dov eying her and Sam from a table forty feet away. Gail was a few stools down, staring into her own amber glass. All of the other tables were filled with cops unwinding after the tough day. This was definitely not where she wanted to have this conversation. She leaned in close to him, "Can we do this somewhere else?"

"I'm almost done, McNally," Sam said quickly, quietly, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

"Please?"

Nodding, Sam threw a twenty on the bar for their drinks and he stood to go. He led Andy to his truck and waited for her to get into the cab before he swung around and got into the driver's seat. She turned to him. Her head was spinning. _The love of his life?_

"Do you really love me?" asked Andy feebly. She almost wish she had gotten a refill on that drink. She could have used the courage.

Sam chuckled, "Of course I love you. You've taught me so much, Andy. About love, about life. How to give someone the benefit of the doubt, although that one is a lot harder for me," he joked. She said nothing. Her silence scared him. It's like her calmness, her quietness meant that if she wasn't reacting to something then there was a malfunction in her hardware. Andy was a feeler, if she wasn't feeling then something was wrong.

After a few more moments of silence, she spoke again, just as calmly as the first time. "And what about being a cop and being with me? How I'm responsible for Jerry."

"I hadn't had a moment to confront my feelings then. I didn't know what it was that was wrong with me, or how to deal with it. I was a jackass, there's no excuse. I'm still unsure how to do my job when you're around, but I at least know why now," he explained. He was staring at the steering wheel and not looking up at her. She scoffed. Finally, he looked up at her, "What?"

"Are you even being serious, Sam? You made jokes earlier, but this isn't funny. This is my heart, my _life_. Your heart."

"I know - God - yes, Andy, I'm serious. I love you and I want it all with you. I want a dog with you and I want to catch bad guys with you and I want to be with you. I love you." He rested his left hand on her own sitting in her lap and he had brought his right hand to her cheek. He looked her in her watery eyes and he knew that he was returning the look, but with a big grin on his face. He stroked his thumb along her cheek.

"You promised to fight for me."

"I know."

"You didn't."

"I'm a jackass, Andy."

"I know."

He laughed and she finally cracked a smile.

"So Andy McNally," he said tentatively, "what do you say?"

Andy was quiet for a long moment. She enjoyed Sam's big, warm hands and she had to restrain herself from closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. She had to remain calm, cool, she had to stay in control.

"I'm not saying no," she said slowly. He nodded in defeat, sliding his hand from off her face. "But I'm not saying yes, either. You broke my heart, Sam. It wasn't good. It's still not that good. I'm not over it. I need time to heal."

"Whatever you need, whatever you want," he said, taking her hands into his own.

"Can you take me home? I have therapy in the morning and it usually wipes me out," she asked. Sam nodded.

"Yeah, of course. Let's go." He started the car and pulled out of the lot. Their car ride was quiet, but they were both content. Sam kept turning towards Andy and smiling widely at her; she'd return the smile shyly. When he got to her place, she turned to get out of the car. He placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "Andy wait. I, uh, I think I'd like to learn how to be a cop and be with you. If, uh, you know, it's okay with you."

"I'd love you be your partner again, Sam," she smiled. She hopped out of the truck and turned to him one last time. "Thanks for the ride, partner. I'll see you tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

Andy slammed her locker closed and she straightened her tank top before heaving her bag up over her shoulder. She looked over at Gail and Traci, who were gossiping at the end of the bench about Nick leaving for the task force. She rolled her eyes at the pair of them; at Gail because she was whining so openly about her problems, and at Traci because she was so willing to lap up all of the information, like a dog desperate for water.

"Hey, I'm headed out. Let's go out soon, okay?" Andy said to the pair, interrupting them. They both nodded.

"You did good today, Andy," Traci said, commenting on her first day back as Sam's partner. Andy smiled upon remembering her day with Sam.

"Yeah, just... don't give lover boy too much grief," Gail joked. Andy blushed as Traci laughed.

"Same goes for you, Gail," Andy shot back, "Nick didn't know you weren't suspended when he left. There was no way he could have known that before he accepted the job. So think about that."

She turned and left her friends. She spotted Sam just outside of the locker room, waiting for her. He was leaning against the cinderblock wall across from the locker room entrance with his jacket thrown over his shoulder. He was watching two officers interact tersely to his left. It looked to Andy as if he was trying to model. She snorted to herself, revealing her presence to him. His head jerked towards her as he nearly stumbled trying to stand straight, making Andy laugh to herself harder. He smiled at her.

"We did good today, McNally," he said gruffly. She nodded.

"We were always good, Swarek," Andy answered fondly, her voice heavy with nostalgia. He moved his head from side-to-side, scrunching his eyebrows together, as if he was contemplating the value of her reply. "Oh come on Sam, we were the best and you know it."

"Oh I know," he replied smugly. She nearly smacked his shoulder. "We made those bad guys pay for their injustices."

Andy laughed. She looked down and then back up again. "Were you waiting for me?" She asked after a beat of silence.

"I was," said Sam, his smile had yet to leave his face. "Would you like to get a drink?"

"I'm sorry Sam, I'm just not really feeling it."

"We could get ice cream, or pizza, or a burger, even," Sam suggested. "Or we could get all three." Andy bit her lip in an uneasy expression.

"I was really hoping for a quiet night at home. Between therapy and our first day back, I've got a lot to digest," she felt wrong and awkward for turning him down, but he nodded in understanding. "I am sorry."

"No - I know. I get it. You said that you'd need time, it's all right, Andy, really," Sam reassured her. "Can I at least give you a ride home?"

"Only if you don't mind," Andy replied slowly. Sam grinned.

"I'd love to."

He took her bag from her and they set off towards the truck with his free hand guiding her at the small of her back. Andy had to do everything in her power not to think about the physical contact. If she wasn't careful, she'd jump his bones in his truck. She and Sam needed to go slow, they needed their own space. Everything would happen over time. But right now, he really needed to stop touching her.

Once they were on the road, Andy shifted nervously in her seat. She was quiet. Too quiet, even.

"You never told me how therapy went," Sam said, breaking the silence. Sam thought he had picked a safe topic, but Andy's cringe had told him otherwise.

"It was okay. We didn't really cover the almost dying stuff. We mostly talked about you."

"Oh."

"And the therapist. She, uh, she brought up some really good points about us," Andy said slowly. She was obviously uncomfortable and Sam felt bad for even bringing it up.

"Oh?"

"About how we should set boundaries. And spend less time together. We were always together at work and then always together at home. We need to set times to be apart. 'Me time,' she called it. I thought it sounded a little childish, but it makes sense," Andy continued. "And I really agree with her. If we want this to last, which I do, then we really ought to take it slow and steady."

"Slow, right," Sam said. He didn't want slow and steady. He wanted it to be fast paced and messy and big. He wanted their love to be big and constant. He nearly laughed aloud at the irony. In their relationship, Andy was always the clingy one, dying to spend time with him. And it wasn't that he didn't enjoy their time together, he loved her for goodness sake, but he also loved time alone. But he got time alone when they broke up and he realized how much he had come to depend on her presence and cheery disposition. He needed her. But now that he wants to be with her at every moment, know what she's feeling in every instant, she doesn't want to be with him so constantly.

"I really suffocated you after Jerry died, you know? And, God, if I don't want to spend every second of every day with you, but I know that one of us would end up growing tired of it. Our space is really necessary for this, we proved that before," Andy continued. Sam nodded, although he was certain she couldn't see him in the dark. They were quiet for a moment, letting the soft sound of the radio permeate through the truck. They finally reached her apartment building. "And, she said one more thing."

He looked over at her. She was really on edge. She wasn't as cool and collected as she was last night. Her therapy session really must have opened her eyes to all of what was wrong with their relationship before. He can't believe he didn't notice any of this in her earlier, when they were on shift. She was staring straight into the distance, studying the license plate of a car off to the side.

"Go on," he pushed her gently with his words. She startled, as if she had forgotten he was even there. She looked at him with wide eyes.

"When we're both ready for this to start, we need to establish where we're ultimately headed and what we want from this relationship and each other. I think after that, if we keep up with healthy communication, then we could maybe make it."

"Okay, and what would 'make it' mean to you?" Sam asked her, putting her on the spot. He nearly regretted the words at the sight of her frightened face. But they needed to do this at some point.

"Right now? Uh, Sam I don't really think that now's the best time to-"

"It's as good a time as any," he shrugged. He pressed on without even thinking. "I'll go first. I'd marry you tomorrow, if you asked me to."

Andy closed her eyes. She wasn't ready for this. She wanted that, all of it, yes, but she wasn't ready to bring that up. Not now. She just wanted to be his partner for now. She wanted camaraderie and laughter and a relatively uncomplicated dynamic. God, he was moving so fast.

"Jesus, Sam, you've got a lot of nerve."

"I've got a lot to learn, Andy."

"I'm really not ready to do this today. Please," she pleaded with him. She paused and then glumly added, "Thanks for the ride."

She got out of the truck and shut the door. He waited until she was safely inside the building before swearing loudly and hitting the steering wheel. He was such an idiot. Marriage? Where did that come from? She told him that she didn't want to do this and then he blurted out the big M-word? He was suffering from some serious word vomit. He swore again and headed to the Penny. Maybe Oliver would be there and could give him some advice. If not, then perhaps Jack Daniels or Captain Morgan could do the trick.

He entered the bar, spotted his friend, sat himself down at the bar next to Oliver and sighed, _thank God he's here_. Oliver clapped him on the back, assuming his plight was somehow connected to Andy. "What are you doing here, buddy? Shouldn't you be off courting McNally?"

"Huh? Yeah," Sam said, "I'm an idiot."

Oliver laughed and hollered for Liam to bring them a round. "Oh Sammy, you didn't honestly think that it was going to be easy? She's a smart girl. She's going to make you work. You've got to decide if she's worth all the fight and effort. Winning a girl back is a Herculean task, not to mention expensive."

Liam passed their drinks over and Sam accepted his beer gratefully. He took a long sip. He sighed and set the glass on the bar. "Didn't I suffer enough with all that Luke business?"

"I'm not saying that you deserve all of this, but you did get yourself into this mess," Oliver told him. Sam sighed and took another gulp of beer, looking down with defeat. Oliver brought his hand to his shoulder and brought him close. "Look, you've got to be yourself. Girls like a vulnerable guy."

"I'm not vulnerable," Sam grumbled. Oliver laughed.

"You are right now," he answered before standing up. "Look, I'm going to go see Zoe. You got the bill?"

"As always, Oliver - good luck, man."

"You too, Sammy. Don't do anything else stupid," Oliver warned with a pointed finger. Sam raised his arm in acknowledgment and finished his own beer. He wanted to be with Andy - to hear about her day, even though he spent the whole thing with her. Oh God - he and Andy had traded places in their relationship, didn't they? He was the overly emotional one and she was emotionally distant. Okay, okay. His marriage screw up would be his last screw up. Avoiding screwing couldn't be that hard, could it? Well, if he was McNally now, then trouble would certainly find him.

He could do this... right?

* * *

I'm not good at keeping a story consistent. So if it goes bad, I'll just blame it on peer pressure. But, I'm blown away by y'all's reactions, so I can't really say no, can I? Thank you all, so very much.


	3. Chapter 3

The last chapter deserves a disclaimer.

One time 'Rookie Blue' retweeted me and that's the closest I'll ever get to owning it.

* * *

He stood at the door to her condo building. The mid-morning sun beat down onto Sam in his leather jacket. Why was he even wearing it? It's the summer. He contemplated taking it back to his truck. But if he went to his truck, he'd just turn around and go home because he shouldn't have come. He shouldn't be here. It's nine o'clock in the morning on their day off. He can't just show up unannounced. He looked down at the coffee in his hands with a scowl. He shouldn't have brought these. It's too hot for summer. It's too hot for leather jackets. Sam was an idiot.

Sam and Andy had been partners for a few weeks now. Things were going smoothly. He liked getting to spend every single day with her. To ride in the car with her. After every shift, he'd wait for her and ask if she wanted to do something. Get a drink, get dinner, get ice cream, go bowling, go putt putting, watch a movie. She declined every offer until about a week ago, when she _finally _agreed to ice cream. He dutifully took her straight home each night (well... he drove her to her house and she'd kick him out). But he really hoped that this surprise visit wouldn't be too much. Only, last night he stopped to talk to Frank before meeting Andy outside the locker room. He had asked Sam to consider maybe taking the open position in the Detective's Division. He had to talk to Andy first.

After standing on her stoop for much too long, he went inside and knocked on her door, praying she was awake. As he was knocking, he truly wished he didn't have the coffee in his hands. He looks so stupid holding it - oh God, he's an idiot. The door opened thirty seconds later, revealing Andy still in her pajamas and a tooth brush shoved in her mouth. She was breathtaking.

"Hey Sam!" she exclaimed. She was happy, confused, tired.

"Is - is it all right that I'm here?" he asked. He held up his hands, showing the coffee to her. "I brought coffee."

"No, yeah, come on in," she answered, turning into the condo to let him in. She led him to the kitchen but continued on into the condo to where her bedroom was. He set the coffees on her kitchen table and she returned minutes later, dressed.

"What brings you around?" she asked, picking up her coffee and sipping it. Coffee was definitely a good idea.

"Well I had hoped that, well, if you weren't busy, I could take you out?" Sam was nervous. "But it's early and it's your day off. I doubt you'd want to spend any more time with me."

"What did you have in mind?" asked Andy. Sam chuckled.

"That's a surprise."

"Okay, Mystery Man, tell me. Is this too casual?" Andy tugged at her, ahem, very tight, fitted, grey Metro Police tee and some running shorts. Sam must've been staring for too long because Andy cleared her throat and when he looked up, she had her arms crossed with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, uh, you're fine - I mean you should be all right."

"Right, okay," Andy replied, "Ready?"

"Actually, I should probably tell you something first," Sam blurted, ready to tell her about moving to the D's. He wanted to hit himself. They were doing so well as partners and now he potentially ruins their progress by possibly abandoning her. He shook his head and took a deep breath. "Frank wants me to move to the D's."

"Sam! That's excellent news! You should go for it!"

"I should?"

"Yes! That way we can work together and be together. We can have time away from each other."

"Are you sure?"

"I am, now are you ready or am I going on this surprise by myself?"

They got into the truck and Sam began to drive into Downtown. Andy turned to him. "Seriously, where are we going?"

"You'll find out soon enough," he smiled. He drove on a little further, finally stopping right outside the park. They got out. "You don't mind walking, do ya?"

Andy shook her head and he grabbed her hand and led her through the park. He didn't even realize he had taken her hand until they had reached their destination: the animal shelter's tent with some of their animals out on display. Andy squeezed him hand, _tight_, before dragging him to the pen where all the dogs were out playing.

Two hours later, Sam was certain that Andy had played with every dog at the park twice. She finally stood and moved to be next to Sam, who was watching from a distance. She took his hand and smiled, "Thanks for bringing me here. Who knew that playing with dogs could be so cathartic?"

"Pick one," he replied to her, trying to play it cool with a straight face. Her hands jumped to his forearm, squeezing tight. Her joy, however, was infectious. Her grin spread to his face.

"Are you serious?"

"No hambulances here," he answered, smiling. He leaned in close, "I intend to keep all of my promises, Andy." He pointed to the dogs, "Which one looks like Boo Radley to you?"

Without hesitation, Andy jumped, wrapping her arms around Sam and kissing him quickly. Pulling back, she looked embarrassed to have made their second first kiss to be so short lived, but Sam smiled at her.

"Sam, I'm so sorry-"

"Andy, I'm ready for this whenever you are," he interrupted, soothing her with his low voice. He leaned down and kissed her again, soft and slow. He felt her smile into his mouth and he pulled back. "Let's get a dog."

After going through the long queue of Andy's favorite dogs (all of them), they settled on a grey Cane Corso Mix with bright blue eyes. He was only two months old and a tiny little thing.

"He'll grow with us," Andy told him on the ride back to her condo. She grinned to herself as she cuddled her new puppy.

He bought her a dog.

* * *

Okay. I think I'm done, y'all. My brain capacity in the summer months declines rapidly with my decreasing responsibility. I hope you enjoyed it. It got weak at the end, so maybe someday I'll change it. You might see some more out of me, but you might not. I don't know. Anyways, enjoy the summer, stay cool, FanFiction.


End file.
